A polished lobby and a friendly greeting are easy to arrange. The things that actually shape your loved one's day — the staffing, the honesty about cost, whether they can stay as needs change — take real questions to uncover. Print this or keep it on your phone, and ask every home the same things.
Care & staffing
1What's the caregiver-to-resident ratio — day and night?This is the single biggest predictor of quality. Ask specifically about overnight; some places thin out dramatically after dark.
2Is someone awake and on-site 24 hours a day?"On-call" or a sleeping caregiver is very different from awake, present staff at 3 a.m.
3Is care nurse-directed? Is a registered nurse involved in medications and care plans?Nursing oversight is what catches small problems before they become hospital visits.
4How long have your caregivers worked here?Low turnover means your loved one sees the same familiar faces — which matters enormously, especially with memory loss.
5What training do caregivers have — dementia, medications, CPR/first aid?Listen for specifics, not "they're all trained."
6What happens if my parent falls or has an emergency at 2 a.m.?A clear, calm answer tells you they've thought it through. Hesitation tells you something too.
Cost & the contract
7What's the all-in monthly cost for my parent's actual needs — in writing?Not the "starting at" figure. The real number for their real situation. (See our cost guide.)
8What could make that number go up? Are there level-of-care tiers?This is where surprise increases of $1,000–$3,000 a month hide.
9What's included, and what's billed separately?Medications, incontinence care, escorts to meals — clarify each.
10What are the deposit, move-in, and move-out/notice terms?Know how it starts and how it ends before you sign.
Daily life
11Are meals home-cooked, and can you handle special diets?Ask to see a menu — or better, to stay for a meal.
12What does a typical day look like?You're listening for real engagement and choice, not a TV left on in a common room.
13Can family visit anytime, and how will you keep us informed?Open, welcome-anytime visiting is one of the best signs of a home with nothing to hide.
The home & the future
14May I see your license and recent inspection record?Every California care home has an RCFE license number and an inspection history. A good home shares it gladly.
15Can my parent stay as their needs grow — including memory care and end-of-life?Moving a frail senior is hard on everyone. Homes that can care for changing needs let your loved one truly settle in.
And trust your gut. Is it clean, and does it smell clean? Are residents up, dressed, and engaged? Do the caregivers make eye contact and know residents by name? The feeling in a home tells you as much as any answer.
One last thing
The best way to use this list isn't to grill a director — it's to see how openly and honestly each home answers. At A Place Called Home, I'll sit down and go through every one of these with you myself, and if we're not the right fit, I'll tell you.
Bring this list to a tour
Come walk through one of our homes and ask me anything on it — I'll give you straight answers, in writing, with no pressure.
Schedule a private tour
This checklist is general guidance from a registered nurse to help families evaluate care options. It is not medical or legal advice.
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